Are we in the wrong?

This has been a consistent question in the minds of my friend and I. All this time, are we in the wrong? And we go back and forth between yes and no as we both debunk the arguments between the easy answer.

What’s the easy answer, you ask?

It’s “yes”.

Why is it the easy answer? Simply because it would mean conforming to our environment, to the people surrounding us – no, to be precise – the people suffocating us, pushing us to a corner, isolating us without remorse.

Why is it so hard to do what’s right, what’s essentially is on black and white?

My friend and I have dove into a new challenge. We thought it wouldn’t be so hard as the procedures is already established, the system – although antiquated in this era of technology – is long running, and the guiding policies are all have been in black and white.

New to this, we devoured all that we can learn and research by ourselves of these new tasks we had to face, adapting as fast as we could, developing a new system using technology with a vision that we will soon be able to smoothly transition and maneuver in this new area we are assigned to.

We kept to our lane, striving to be indifferent to what was essentially outside our responsibilities, and being apathetic to the self-interests of others. But still many were not happy.

It seems like in this environment, just seeing us breathing and moving, is offensive to others. If only they could ignore us as much as we have ignored them.

Go run your own paths. Our destination is elsewhere.

As we learned the policies and processes of our tasks, we were shocked on how everyone has deviated from them. We struggled to re-read what we have learned if could there have been misinterpretation from our end but if “outside of” is not allowed, why have they allowed it? If the data should be completely provided of, why is an absence allowed? Why compensate when there’s doubt as to the legitimacy of the claim?

And why are we wrong if our basis is right?

Why are they hating on us when we merely asks to be provided for what is lacking?

Why are we to be blamed for the delay when they are the ones not on time?

Why are we in the wrong?

Welcome back, lonely self~

Look who finally came around after a long time~

Me. And my demons, it seems.

As I browsed through my previous posts, I realized I only come here when I am filled with negativity brimming over the surface, about to spill out, or maybe already spilling over, yet never runs out.

These past days, with no one to talk to without guilt that I’ll eventually wear them down, I thought I should write in my journal. But how do I write without tiring my hands and falling asleep? Just thinking about writing and trying to keep my jumbled thoughts organized on paper exhausts me. The bed right near my desk always wins over my journal.

So I thought, oh, what about an online diary?
And I realized I do have one… that I no longer visit.

So here I am.


With my inner demons in tow.

Welcome me back~